Terrorist birds and other possible threats to America.

I made the mistake of watching CNN today. After 20 minutes I was petrified I would be a victim of a terrorist attack or a flood, so I decided to take a walk and clear my head, so I grabbed the leash and Oliver and headed out into the dangerous world.

Oliver stopped to pee underneath a big Oak tree (it could have been a maple, or really any other tree, I’m not a horticulturist). Anyway there was a crow cawing at me, and I swear it crowed “Alah” at me. Thinking back on it, it seems more likely that the crow simply “cawed” at me, and I misinterpreted it on account of my post CNN induced state of fear.

However, it did get me thinking about what if there were terrorist birds? I mean they obviously wouldn’t be terrorists in the true sense. It is highly improbable that they would have hatred toward white infidels or truly understand the religious political context of fundamental Islamists. It is more likely the terrorists would train the birds to do terrorist activities using a Pavlov rewards system based on tasty treats.

Crows hardly strike fear into the collective hearts of the Western World but they could really disrupt our daily lives. They could swoop down and terrorize small children, cover our expensive cars in poop, and wake all of us up really early in the morning on Sundays. This would impact us all. As it stands right now the terrorist attacks that occurred on 9/11 really only impacts us when we travel. I mean if you don’t fly on a regular basis or cross the border it really doesn’t affect you at all. Crows though, that would be a real pain, I’m telling you.

The possibilities are endless, if you were to throw pigeons into the mix, look out were all screwed. If Pigeons can be trained to carry tiny messages on their feet to a given destination, why not a vile of Anthrax to a target? We have not found a solution to stop pigeons from congregating in underground parking garages and shitting all over our cars, how could we stop them from carrying Anthrax vials? I wonder if anyone is looking into this, we need to be proactive here.